Untouchable
by Lel Christo
Summary: Tris and Four haven't spoken since 'it' happened. Tris is now dating the sweet Mark who has helped her to forget. But when Tris accidently bumps into Four unexpectedly, the two are forced to either move on or find some way to go back to the way things were. But that's not so easy when other thinks are starting to unfold in the Dauntless compound...
1. Chapter 1

**Heyy! This is more new story unbreakable, and yes I know the name sounds a lot like my other fanfic unforgettable, but that wasn't intentional. I have decided to write a new divergent fanfic and I hope you like it! This chapter is written from Tris' POV… **

1 ~ Mark

I hold the knife tightly in my hand and focus on the target. My arm throbs from throwing knife after knife, but there is a relaxation about it. The constant rhythm of the knife hitting the board is somewhat soothing.

I draw back my hand and throw the knife with as much force as I can muster, hitting the target square in the centre. I've gotten pretty good at knife throwing, a skill which I have been working on for a while. The trick is to never take your eye away from where you want the point of the knife to hit. My heart aches as I realise there is only one person I could have learnt that from.

I push the thought of him away and sit down on the training room floor, pressing my back up against the wall. Instead I focus on my breathing, inhaling and exhaling. I've gotten good at pushing thoughts of him away, probably because I've been doing it for so long now.

My thoughts are interrupted suddenly by a light knock on the door. I look up to see Mark, always knowing where to find me. I get up and run to embrace him. He holds me tightly and I kiss him on the cheek.

"Hey," I say holding him closer. "You're finished early today."

"Yeah," He admits, "I came here to see you."

His answer surprises me, but he quickly continues, "The people I work with have planned a dinner party sort of thing, and I have to be there tonight and I wanted to know if you wanted to come too?"

I think about it for a second. But honestly, all I want to do is go have a nice hot shower and curl up in my warm bed. Mark knows me well enough to understand this so he decides to plead with me a bit more.

"One of my colleagues really wants to meet you. He says he is in charge of Dauntless initiation training this year and wants to discuss the plan for this year with you." He tells me.

"Alright I'll go." I sigh, making it sound like I am just doing it for him; like it's a chore. Mark laughs and I know he knows me better than that, he knows I'm thrilled.

Which I am. It has taken a lot of hard work to become an initiate trainer and when I finally passed the final examination, I was so excited. But as the new year was approaching, which meant new initiates, I was becoming more anxious that no one was going to give me any instruction.

But now someone wanted to talk to me about it and lead me in the right direction, so I was presumably very excited. I had wanted this job for a very long time. In fact I had wanted it ever since he…

I push the thoughts away again and smile up at Mark who smiles back. "I'm just going to take a shower and change. So I will meet you…?"

Mark clears his throat, "There's a room on the other side of the pit for these types of occasions."

I kiss him lightly on the mouth and head back to my apartment room. He waves as I walk away and I smile. Mark is one of the sweetest guys I have ever met and I know how much he cares for me which makes him even sweeter.

Mark and I have been dating for a couple of months now and we are both really happy. I met him during my training for my job. He was the dauntless leader overseeing our training. Yes, he is a dauntless leader, but he's a good one and I like to think that his kind heart is going to help this faction a lot.

Like me, Mark is new to this job, so when he is invited to one of these types of events he is very excited. Normally I don't go with him to these events because I've always been terrified I will bump into…

I groan and push him out of my mind again. I'm not worried about tonight, I haven't seen him since…never mind. The point is, Mark has never mentioned him at his work and I haven't seen him around, so I won't see him tonight.

I love Mark because he saved me when I was convinced my whole world was over and that I couldn't be saved by anyone. But he came along and showed me his kindness and his love and brought me back to life; and for that I am eternally grateful.

**Please review so I can know what you think and continue updating :D Thank you for reading as always!**

**~Lel**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey there ;) Here is the second chapter I hope you like it! Don't forget to keep pressing that alluring review button!**

2 ~ Not This Time

I stand in the shower and let the hot water run down my back. I stand there for a long time, not thinking about anything in particular, just staring into space. I rinse off and dry myself and then pull on my robe.

I go through my wardrobe and realise that I own nothing that looks nice enough to wear tonight, so I head over to Christina's. Christina is apparently entertaining a guest, most likely Will, and refuses to let me in. instead she shoves a black dress and heels out of the door and quickly closes it behind her, leaving me standing outside.

I go back to my room and get changed. The dress reaches all the way to the floor and has a split up the side which hits about mid-thigh on my left leg. I groan, damnit Christina I think. The dress is held up by two incredibly thin straps and has a belt that sits loosely on my hips. I put on the shoes which are black also, but thankfully are not too high.

I do up the buckles on each shoe and then decide to tackle my hair. I decide to leave it out and it falls on my shoulders in small blonde waves. I put on a tiny bit of mascara and laugh to myself, I've been around Christina way too long now. I look in the mirror at myself and surprise myself even, I actually look pretty good.

I lock my apartment door behind me and head to where Mark directed me. It's a fair bit of a walk and by the end of it my feet ache from the shoes which I decided must be too high after all. A tall man stand at the door holding a clipboard, he peers at me through his glasses.

"Name?" He asks me.

"Uh, Tris Prior." I say. He grunts at me and I quickly add, "I'm here with Mark Oldenburg."

He looks over his list of names and wrinkles his nose at me, "Your name is not written here."

Suddenly I am no longer calm and collected, I am frustrated and annoyed. I grab the jerk by his shirt collar and tell him between gritted teeth, "You _are _going to let me in." He stares at me with blank eyes and drops the list. I let him go and straighten up and push open the door, leaving the blubbering idiot outside.

I push open the double doors and look around the room. There isn't as many people as I thought there would be and I found myself quickly scanning the room for him like I always do, except this time it is for the wrong reasons. I sigh a breath of relief at the realization he is not here.

I see Mark on the far side of the room talking to a man who has his back turned to me. I slowly make my way over to him and his _friend_. He notices me half way there and waves at me. His friend sees him wave and turns around to see who it is.

Eric. He fakes a smile but I know he is not happy to see me here. Mark quickly kisses me and then turns to Eric, "Eric, this is- "

"Yes." He lifts his hand up, "We are well acquainted, aren't we Miss Prior?" He smiles but his eyes are like sharp razors. "Fancy seeing you here?"

"Yes," I say coolly, "I came here with Mark.

He raises an eyebrow at Mark who turns away. Ok this is weird. "Why was I not informed about you two by anyone?" It's meant as an innocent question but it makes Mark look even more uncomfortable. What is going on?

"Mark," I say trying to clear the tension, "you said there was someone here you wanted me to meet." A horrifying thought hits me hard, it isn't Eric is it?

Mark's round face brightens, "Oh yes of course, I think I last saw him by the buffet table. Uh…please excuse us Eric." He takes my hand and pulls me away from there.

I stare at him demandingly, "Mark, what the hell was that?"

"What was what Tris?" He says it as if he is not listening to me, but I know he just doesn't want to answer me. I sigh and decide to leave it for now.

"I can't seem to find him…" Mark trails off. He lets go of my hand and tells me he is going to go look for him and I should stay put.

I turn around and instead watch Eric. Eric is holding a small glass of what looks like wine and looks back at me. He glares at me, and I can't turn away. We hold each other's stare for what feels like hours. What is his problem?

My thoughts are suddenly interrupted by Mark, who is tapping my shoulder. I don't turn. "Tris! Let me introduce you to-"

I turn around and find myself face to face with the man I never ever wanted to see again. I stare into those beautiful blue eyes which a long time ago could swallow me whole. Not this time. "Four." I finish for him.

**Thankyou for reading as always, make sure you tell me what you think :D I love all of you people that read my stories and review, you make me happy **

**~Lel**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey there my lovely readers :D Thanks so much for all the follows and views and reviews! Because you are all so kind I have decided to post the third chapter for you ;) Enjoy!**

3 ~ Forgetting

I've spent so long trying not to see him again and just when I let my guard down, he stands in front of me wanting to 'talk'. I know I should turn away and leave but I can't. Mark hasn't spoken a word since I said Four's name. He now knows me and him go way back.

I know I probably should have told Mark, but I never could. Every time I wanted to the thought of him made me sick to my stomach. I wanted to forget and heal. Mark allowed me to forget but he couldn't heal me. I never told him about Four because it would break his heart that he couldn't.

Four smiles at me like he used to, and instead of calming me like it used to, it makes me feel like I am going to collapse. I squeeze my eyes shut and turn away from him; I can't do this. "Tris," He grips my arm and tries to pull me around to face him.

My skin burns at his touch and I pull my arm out of his grip; he wasn't holding that strong. "Don't touch me." I imagined spitting the words at him but they just come out strangled. _Stay strong Tris._

Finally, Mark speaks, "You two know eachother?" I don't speak, my back still facing Mark and Four.

Four speaks up and I wish he wouldn't, "Yes." He leaves it at that; leaves our past unspoken like it should be.

"Maybe we should leave." Mark sighs and he takes my hand and I grip it tightly. I turn slightly to see Four's eyes watching my hand clasped in Mark's. He didn't know about us?

We leave silently and no one really notices us leave. Except Eric, who approaches us slowly. "You two leaving?" He fakes a look of disappointment but I'm not stupid.

"Yes," Mark answers quickly, "It's getting late."

Eric smiles stiffly, "Well that's too bad. Would you mind if I have a quick word with Miss Prior?" It's not a question.

Mark nods his hand and gives my hand a reassuring squeeze, "I'll wait for you outside." He tells me.

I smile at him and turn to face Eric and I cross my arms across my chest, "What do you want?" I snap.

"I'm just here to warn you." Eric says casually.

"About what?"

"If I were you I'd be a bit more careful about where you involve yourself, especially with these people." He stares at me.

I snort, "And why would I take advice from you?"

"Just watch yourself," He leans in and whispers in my ear, "there are people who would be happy to see you dead."

I gulp, what is that supposed to mean? I look around the room and my eyes find Four's, who is watching Eric and me suspiciously. I look away. "I need to go."

Eric pulls back and begins to walk away, but he turns and says, "Just be careful." And with that he leaves to talk to an older gentleman.

I roll my eyes and push open the doors and head over to Mark who is sitting by a large tree staring out into the night. I stand there and watch him and I breathe a sigh of relief that I will always have him by my side. I worry about what Eric said, who wants to kill me? And since when would Eric care?

Mark lifts his gaze to me and smiles. I walk over to him and sit beside him and let out a sigh. "What did Eric want?" He looks at me with his soft green eyes.

"Nothing really, just wanted to ask me about training the initiates this year." I feel a pang of guilt for lying to Mark, but something tells me that it's not something I should tell anyone. I realise I would have told Four, and I feel anger towards myself for the fact that I would trust him over Mark.

"Oh." Mark says. He looks back out into the sky. "Are you okay?"

I know I'm not and I know he does too, so I give him the easiest answer for both of us. "Yes, I'm fine."

"You want to talk about what happened before?" He means Four and I do not want to talk about it, ever again.

I sigh, "No, not really."

Mark laughs softly, but it's a sad laugh. He kisses my cheek, "Okay, you can tell me if and whenever you want." He wraps an arm around me.

I smile at him. Always kind, always caring. Sometimes I don't even think I deserve him. We stare at the stars together and I completely forget Four and Eric and every other bad thing in the world. Right now, the world is perfect. Just like Mark, who always allows me to forget.

**Wow, that was a very powerful chapter right? Haha. Okay don't hate me but I actually really like the character Mark, I know he's no Tobias but still. What do you think?**

**Please make sure before you leave this page you press that review button just below ;) And because I have no life I will probably post the next chapter soon **

**Anyways, thanks again and always, **

**~Lel**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello my readers, here is chapter 4 for today! Enjoy!**

4 ~ Staring

He walks me back to my apartment, his hand in mine. We don't speak, to my relief. I'm tired and all I really want to do is go to bed where I can pretend I've been all night, instead of standing face to face with the man I never wanted to see again and listening to words of warning from Eric.

What Eric said has actually started to worry me, but I am not sure why. I know that I needed some answers, but something told me I was not going to get what I needed from Mark, so I kept my mouth shut. But what did he mean by some people wanted me dead?

A thought pops into my head and I wish it didn't. I realise that the person who would probably have most of my answers is Four. But I shake my head, that's not an option here. "I'll see you tomorrow?" Mark interrupts my thoughts and I realise we have reached my apartment.

"Yeah, I'll see you before you go to work." We kiss briefly and say goodnight and I let myself into my apartment.

I realise how tired I am, so I kick off my heels and climb into bed, still fully dressed. I pull the covers over my body and shut my eyes and try to think about something else while I fall asleep.

Xxxx

I wake up with a pounding headache and groan. I somehow how manage to drag myself out of my warm bed and get changed into tight black jeans and a loose black shirt. I pull on my sneakers and run a brush through my hair.

Locking my door behind me, I head for the dining room. Christina spots me walking behind her and waits for me at the door, a big grin on her face. I walk up to her and laugh, "What's with you?"

"What? Can't I be happy?" She snaps, but she's smiling too.

"Sure." I look away.

"You okay?" She rubs my arm softly.

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and stare at my feet, "Fine, I'm fine."

"I think you're forgetting that I can tell when you lie." She supresses a smile and I lift my head and look at her and realise I am holding back tears. She taps me gently on the arm and says, "We'll talk later."

We find a seat at one of the tables in the dining room and soon we are joined by Will and Uriah. Christina and Will kiss and I turn away. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for the two of them, but I'm not in the mood.

I look up to see Eric walking in and he catches my stare. He stands still and just looks at me and appears to checking if Mark is there. And gives me a look which I took for: _I'll speak to you later._ "What was that?" Uriah asks and I ignore him. I look past Eric to Four sitting behind where Eric now stands. He is eating toast and talking to Lauren.

"Hey." Mark slides into the seat beside me and I smile at him, grateful for the distraction. "Did you sleep okay last night?" He pats my hand gently.

"Yeah." I reply, and find myself staring at Four again. Except this time he catches me staring. I look down, my face burning with embarrassment.

Mark takes a final bite of his cereal and gives me a quick peck on the cheek. "I have to get going to work, I'll meet you as soon as I finish, I promise." He smiles and gets up, heading for the door. I follow him with my eyes, wishing he'd stay.

"So what are you guys up to today?" Uriah asks us, picking at his food.

"Will's working at the control room today," Christina tells us, "but I'm not working today. What are you doing Tris?"

I look at Christina who is watching me carefully, probably checking to see if I'm telling a lie, "Uh, nothing, maybe I'll go train or something." I look down to the table and without realising, I catch myself staring at Four, but to my relief, he isn't looking.

"Are you sure?" Christina asks.

I look up at her, "Yeah, I like training." Out of the corner of my eye I can see Four watching, and know he's been listening in.

She smiles, "Okay, well I guess we'll see you later."

**Sorry, I know this chapter wasn't as exciting as the last, but do not worry much more intense stuff coming up! Thankyou as always and despite the lack of excitement in this chapter, just review anyway! **

**~Lel xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello there my lovely readers!  
First of all, massive apologies for the delay, I know I'm so slack. But went back to school this week :'( nah it wasn't that bad, but I've been busy… so anyways here is the long awaited fifth chapter and because I am so amazingly kind I will post the next one with it. Just kidding, I'm only posting it because I feel bad for my slackness ;) Ok, I'll stop talking so ENJOY!**

5 ~ Walking Away

I head to the training room after breakfast and spend an hour or so there standing in front of a target, knife in hand. I hurl it straight at the board and it hits about two centimetres above the centre.

I take a deep breath and try again, this time I am more determined. I pick up the second knife and keep my arm steady and my mind focused. _Focus Tris._ I lift my arm and throw it with enough strength to leave an ache in my arm.

I look up to see the knife stuck in the board even further away from the target. I fall to the ground and hold my head in my hands. What is wrong with me? Why can't I focus? Obviously I know the answer to that question but I ignore it.

I come up with other useless excuses to distract myself and almost make myself feel better. But then I realise ignoring how I feel is doing nothing to help me, in fact it's just making me feel a lot worse.

This time I get up and hold the knife tightly in my right hand, I grip it so tightly my knuckles are white. This time I think of Four and how he made me feel like I wasn't good enough, but I was. And I am. I throw the knife a final time and it hits right in the centre and I smile.

Xxxx

I have a quick lunch, with only Marlene and Lynn for company. We eat together and make light conversation, mainly about Marlene's job at the infirmary and her and Uriah. I barely listen to them and instead focus on my hamburger, which isn't filling me as much as I had hoped.

Marlene and Lynn continue talking about something I am paying no attention to until I hear something that intrigues me. "Eric has been really worried his job is going to be taken over."

I look up from my food to Lynn who made the comment. "Where did you hear that?" I ask her.

"I don't know, it's just a fact really. Eric has always felt threatened by people who could get more power than he does." Lynn replies, somewhat confused at my sudden interest in the topic. "Why?"

I ignore the question and get up out of my chair, "I'll see you guys later I have to go." Marlene waves goodbye, but Lynn stares at me. She doesn't say anything but continues watching as I leave.

After lunch I go to find Eric. I can't think of where he would be so I go to look near the control room, maybe he'd be there. As I'm walking down one of the empty hallways someone calls out "Tris!" and I hear footsteps.

I don't turn around, because I know exactly who that is. I'd know that voice anywhere. Despite everything, I turn around, slowly. "Don't some any closer." I don't look at him.

"Tris, I… uh…"

"Don't do it Four." I feel tears in my eyes and I keep my head down, I don't want him to see me cry. Actually I don't want him to see me full stop.

"I won't Tris. I won't. Just please listen to me, it's important…" I turn away from Four and continue to walk the opposite way so I don't have to look at him. "It's Eric."

I turn around and instantly regret doing so. But I don't show weakness, I won't. "What about him?" I cross my arms against my chest and lean back.

"Tris, he's trying to- "

"Where is he?" I snap.

"The control room maybe…?" Four guesses, he looks uncomfortable.

I leave him in the hallway without a thankyou and I don't feel guilty. I won't thank him and I never will. I hear him call out my name one last time and I bite down on my lip and squeeze my eyes shut, but don't stop walking. I don't let the tears spill onto my cheeks; instead I keep my teeth pressed against my bottom lip, harder and harder until I taste blood.

I keep walking and hold my head high, even if I hurt inside. I walk away from him, just like he walked away from me.

**DAYYUMMM… that was one good chapter! Just kidding it was okay…  
So let me know what you think because I love hearing your thoughts and I love you all!**

**~Lel **


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, so as promised here is chapter 6, leading on to more intense stuff like always :P Also, one of my reviews said that someone still didn't know what 'it' was between Tris and Four. Don't worry, you are not supposed to get what it is. It is what some of us call a SURPRISE!**

6 ~ The Control Room

I head straight to the control room and burst through the double doors, where a confused Will stares at me. "What are you doing here? Those doors are supposed to be locked…" He trails off and stares at me, "Wait, why are you here anyway?"

I don't answer the question, I completely ignore it. "Where's Eric?" I snap at him, then quickly apologise, "Sorry Will… I'm just… _tense_." I admit.

"Don't worry about it Tris. I haven't seen Eric since breakfast; I think he went to Erudite Headquarters." Will says, scratching his ear, I know he is aching to get back to his work.

"Wait… what did you say?" I shake my head.

"I think Eric went to the Erudite Headquarters…?"

Why would he go there? I remember how Will has a job to do and quickly apologise for interrupting his work and leave. I can't think of who to tell this to and why it matters so much. Who cares if Eric went to the Erudite Headquarters?

I go to dinner with Christina who I bump into later on. We eat together silently but I know she is dying to ask me what's wrong. She keeps fidgeting in her seat and I eventually get annoyed. "Christina, not here." I shoot her a glance that reinforces what I just said.

She opens her mouth to speak but then shuts it again and I pat her hand reassuringly. She groans and leans back in her chair and I laugh. I look around to see if Eric is back but I can't see him. Then again I didn't notice Four that night and then five minutes later I was ambushed… so there you go.

After dinner we go back to Christina's apartment. We sit comfortably on her bed and don't speak. I instead draw patterns on her blanket with my pinky finger while she stares at me demandingly.

"Tris, speak." She clicks her fingers in front of me.

I laugh, "What do you want me to say?"

"Anything! What's on your mind?" She smiles at me and holds both my arms, "Talk to me, Tris."

The tears pour out of my eyes and take me and Christina by surprise. Christina wraps her arms around me and strokes my hair, while I cry into her shoulder. "Tris what happened?" She whispered.

"Four…" I manage to choke out.

Christina holds me tighter and I know she understands right away. There's no need to say more, that single word can be the reason for so much pain. "Did you see him again?"

I nod slowly, "Twice. I can't do this anymore, Christina." I cry.

She nods in agreement, "You shouldn't have to Tris. Is that it?" She asks me quietly.

I shake my head and pull away from her. I run my fingers through my knotted hair and wipe my mascara stained cheeks. "Eric was at Erudite Headquarters today."

"What?" Christina looks alarmed, "Why?"

I shake my head again, "I don't know. But the other day he said to me to be careful who I involve myself with because there are people out there who would prefer me dead."

Christina's eyes widen in panic. "Who could possibly want you dead?"

I shrug, "I have no idea... but I need answers Christina and I need answers soon." Christina looks nervous and pretends to be picking at her nails. "Christina what is it?"

She continues to stare at the ground. "Tris you aren't going to like this idea…"

I sigh, "Out with it Christina."

"There's only one person who will probably be able to help you out here…" She is scratching her hand nervously. "Look Tris, there's only one thing you can do and you have got to go talk to Four."

**I just thought I'd let you know, that lately I have been very distracted which is normal, but being distracted can leave someone like me in need of extra motivation to do things, than normal. SOO… that means that if you wonderful people out there review telling me just how worth it this story is I will get up off my lazy butt and write another chapter for you **

**Aww, I feel really mean bribing you guys for more reviews… I'm actually really sorry for this, I'm not this mean normally, promise. Just school has really messed up my lifestyle haha.**

**Okay thankyou again, I love you all!**

**Xxx**

**~Lel**


	7. Chapter 7

**Heyyyy! You guys are too too sweet and I don't know what I would do without all of you wonderful people **** Here is Chapter 7 which is called Forboding which means, if you don't know, 'knowing something bad is going to happen' DUN DUN DUNNNN…. Hahaha anyways ENJOY!**

7 ~ Foreboding

There is a knock at my door and I open it to find Mark, leaning against the door frame for support, blood coming out of his nose. He looks up and I realise his face is very swollen and he has a bruise that has turned yellowy in colour formed around his eye.

"Oh my god, Mark…" I trail off as I run to get an ice pack. I help him in and sit his on my bed, pressing the icepack gently to his face. He presses tissues against his bruised nose and they quickly turn red. I rub his back with my hand and ask, "What the hell happened to you?"

He winces as I touch his arm, and I realise that is bruised and bleeding also. "I was mugged by some guy. I don't know who he was because he had covered his face. But he grabbed me and stole all my money."

I stare at him with an open mouth, "Oh my god, Mark, we need to get you to the infirmary. Have you reported the guy?"

Mark stares at the round uncomfortably, "No, I didn't want to get anyone else involved. And I don't need to go to the infirmary, I am fine here."

"No you aren't Mark. Come on, it will be fine. Trust me, they can help you a lot more than I can." I argue.

He shakes his head, "No I-"

I lift the icepack off his face, "Mark, please." I say, quickly cutting him off. I grab his arm to help him up.

"No Tris." He says sternly, taking my hand off his arm, "I said no."

I bite my lip, I have never seen him this way, but the look in his eyes tells me to push the subject no further.

He groans as he gets up, "I better get going, you need your rest. I'll be in my room if you need me." I don't even bother objecting to him leaving on his own. He motions to the icepack, "Can I take this with me?"

I nod and help him to the door, "There should be another one in your room if that one melts, or you could go to the infirm- …" I hesitate and instead rub his arm gently, "Mark are you sure…?" He doesn't smile and looks away saying a quick goodnight and leaves me standing at my doorway alone.

Xxxx

I stay up most of the night worrying about Mark, worrying whether he was okay, or if he had enough icepacks. As much as I believed everything Mark told me, part of his story didn't make sense. I couldn't understand how you could get mugged in Dauntless headquarters as no one carries around money. We have no use for money because we pay for things with points not money… So why was Mark carrying around money?

I bite my lip. There have never been muggings in dauntless. There were attacks and punch ups, but never mugging, people had no need. I shake my head at the idea that pops into my head; _maybe Mark was out of Dauntless Headquarters carrying money._

It doesn't sit with me properly and makes me feel sick. I roll over and try and push the thoughts away like I've grown so used to doing, but this time I can't. I can't forget what I thought. I may not know exactly what happened or what's going on, but all I know is something isn't right and I can feel it in the pits of my stomach; something bad is going to happen, very soon.

**Alrighty, how was it? Please share your thoughts it makes me happy! :D And you want me to be happy right? It's okay if you don't, cause to be fair you don't really know me :P Thanks again and always**

**~Lel**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys!  
Lost track of how long it has been since I posted a chapter… So sorry again… But hopefully these amazing next few chapters will make it up to you!  
Hopefully… **

8 ~ Lies

I go to the infirmary the next morning where I hope to find Christina. It's still very early and it is very quiet. I walk through the pit quietly, but no one is around. The infirmary is also quiet, not the usual bustle of doctors and nurses. In fact, I appear to be the only one in the waiting room.

The nurse at the front desk smiles at me and I know she is used to my visits at this hour. She always knows I am here to see Christina and lets me inside even without the appropriate authorization. I am always grateful of her understanding and kindness towards me.

She has recognised my face ever since the first time I came here. It was about two years ago and I had never interrupted Christina during work before. But this time was different, I was alone and I needed someone there for me.

Christina unfortunately was on call at that time and I had only the sweet nurse at the front desk for comfort. She didn't know me or my problems but she sat beside me and listened and gave me tissues. She helped me when no one else could.

Ever since then we have become closer. Ivy is her name, she has one son who is nineteen months old and has been married for four years. She learnt a lot about me too. She learnt that I wanted to work as a trainer; she knew I was in a relationship with… She knew he hurt me in ways some could not imagine.

I smile at her gratefully as she holds open the door for me and I head straight to Christina's room. I don't even bother knocking; she's used to it now. "Christina." I say and I hug her tightly.

"Hey. What's going on Tris?" She rubs my back gently.

I hold back tears and clear my throat, straightening up. "Um, do you have any painkillers around?"

"Uh, yeah somewhere..." She looks around the room absently, "I can get those for you. Why?"

"Mark needs them." I say it casually, though I know she wants more.

"Tris, you should know by now I don't like those kinds of answers from you." She grins at me but I can't return the smile. She frowns, "What happened?"

"Mark got…" The word is there on the tip of my tongue, but something inside of me doesn't want me to say. "Got in a bit of a brawl with some guys at work." I finish, trying hard not to bite the inside of my cheek; my usual give away.

Christina stares at me for what feels like an hour. She eventually nods and goes to get the medicine and I feel a pang of guilt in the pit of my stomach because I know she doesn't believe me. She comes back and hands me the medicine.

She sits down behind the desk and motions for me to sit on the chair in front. "So Tris, how is everything going?"

It's a simple question most people ask just to be polite or make conversations, but generally when Christina asks, she is genuinely concerned. I quietly mumble a fine and try to look her in the eyes. She gives me a slight nod and I know she knows I'm lying again. I bite my lip. I've lied twice to the person I trust more than anyone else.

"Tris, you know you can tell me anything right?" She reaches across the desk and covers my hand with hers, forcing me to stare into her chocolate brown eyes.

"Yes." I mutter and turn away. I need to get out of here; all I am managing to do here is hurt her.

We sit in silence for too long waiting for the other to speak, the whole time I am begging for her to say something, anything to relieve this blanket of tension that was not there when I first came in. I focus my eyes on the small wooden photo frame on the desk. It's a picture of her and Will.

"We're going to be forever." She once told me. I smiled because we were both under some delusion forever exists. I think Christina still believe it, but me? Well let's just say I learnt my lesson not to assume things. When you're under the illusion of 'forever' I can tell you first hand that's when it hurts more.

We continue sitting there in silence, the trust between us now hanging by a very fine, delicate thread. Finally, Christina speaks, "I better get to work, uh I'll see you later Tris."

She gets up and pats my shoulder and turns to head out the door. I stare at the floor guiltily when she turns and says, "Just be careful." Three simple words, plainly meant as a warning, yet mean so much.

**I'd just like to dedicate this author's note to thanking all of you for your amazing reviews which I really do not deserve. I love and am touched when you take time out of your life to talk to me and it is the most exciting thing **** A couple of days ago someone said how good a writer I was and that was such an amazing review because I never would have thought I deserved something like that and it meant the world to me so thankyou to .  
Ok, I'll stop talking now because you're probably bored…  
Thankyou always xx**

**~Lel**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay guys due to the business of my life, (OMG I know right? Just three weeks ago I was a sad young loser with nothing to do but put up chapters everyday… I miss that pathetic me too :'( ) I will now be posted a new chapter ONCE a week. Okay, I'll give you a couple of seconds to cry for a bit…**

**3…**

**2…**

**1…**

**Okay times up! Anyways, I think this is a lot better because now all I am is extremely unorganised and at least now this story will be updated weekly and you will spend your whole week biting your nails in suspense! Okay enjoy the story, I will leave you alone…**

9 ~ Doubting

I go over to Mark's after that and slide the key off the hook above his door. I let myself into his apartment room and slip into his room, careful not to wake him up. He lays on his bed, the mound off fluffy doonas he always like to sleep under, in a piled on top of him so high I can barely see his face.

I place the small bottle of pink pills on the dresser. I can hear his soft snores as he sleeps and I find myself watching him sleep without meaning to. The blankets rise and fall with each of his breaths and he looks so relaxed and peaceful.

I find myself smiling at the graceful ease Mark has always possessed. He made life seem easy, even though I knew he wasn't. he got excited over the smallest things which would always make me laugh. I cross the room so that I am close enough to see his head peeping out beneath the mountain of blankets.

I cringe at the bruising on his face which has changed from a yellowy colour to a deep purple-blue. I realise it must be an effort to breathe for him. He's chest was badly beaten, so there would be great pain with every breath. It's the same kind of pain I went through. Except it was my heart aching, but there was still a great effort to breathe.

I wish I knew what happened yesterday. What happened to Mark? I knew I let my thoughts wander last night and I came up with preposterous ideas about what Mark was doing yesterday. I brush a small strand of hair of his forehead and sigh.

The Mark I imagined last night was nothing like the Mark I know. The kind, generous Mark who is completely innocent in every way. That Mark would never have been involved in the ideas I came up with last night. Never would have been carrying around all this money. Never would have left Dauntless…

I kiss his forehead gently and let myself out of the room and go to find Will. There is something really important I need to do to end these horrible doubts I have about Mark and put all my worrying to an end.

I don't know where to find Will. I head to the dining room where he might be, but I remember its still very early, he may not even be awake. I check my watch quickly and come to the conclusion he may be about here somewhere, I'll just have to find him.

I wander up one of the hallways alone. There is no other sound beside the constant sound of my shoes hitting the floorboards. I find myself running at a quick pace. I don't understand the urgency to do this, but the sooner I know the better.

I enter the pit which has more people wandering around then this morning. I scan the area for Will but cannot spot him. I spot Marlene, however, a few metres away. "Marlene!" I call.

She turns around and I notice her hand in Uriah's and I curse myself for ruining whatever they were doing. Uriah notices my gaze which had fallen to their clasped hands and jerks his hand away, a pink colour filling his dark cheeks.

"Hey!" Marlene smiles at me, ignoring an embarrassed Uriah beside her and I thank her silently for being so forgiving.

"I didn't mean to interrupt…" I trail off and I feel my cheeks get hotter.

"No, you weren't, um…" She smiles at me awkwardly, "What's up?"

"Have you seen Will?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "No I haven't sorry."

"Ok, thanks anyway."

"Sure thing, would Christina know where he is?" Marlene guesses helpfully.

I smile, though I know I won't I say, "Yeah thanks, I'll try there."

She waves goodbye as I walk away. I wave back and turn around, not knowing where to go next. I walk around aimlessly, lost in thoughts that aren't important but are just there. I could go to the control room, but it's unlikely he would be there this early and unlikely it would be conveniently unlocked like last time.

I consider going to Christina's but quickly change my mind. Just when I am about to go and try the control room afterall, a shout echoes from across the pit and I quickly spin around and look in the last direction I saw her.

She is waving an arm at me, attempting to get my attention and calling something out which I can't hear. I make out a few words out of what she is saying and manage to make out, "Four," and "ask." and gulp.

I realise there is no way I'm going to do that and turn away managing to bump straight into someone who was standing behind me. I mutter an apology and look at the ground, eager to get away and go find Will.

"Tris." Dammit. I can't seem to get away.

**Baaaacckk…. So as I was saying: ONCE A WEEK from now on so I will notify you soon on what day you can officially be expecting a new chapter (or two if it turns out I do in fact have less of a life like before… but we shall see…) Okay thanks again my lovelies xxx**

**~Lel**


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay this is the final chapter I'll post for today, cause you have had three already and you cant be greedy haha. Official updating day will now be Saturday so be prepared and pumped for the Saturday updates, HOOORRRAAAYYY! Also, keep in mind, I live in Australia so my Saturday may be a day or so off from yours depending what country you are reading this from. Omg who gets super-psyched when someone overseas is reading your stories, cause I do! Anyway, enjoy the story, this chapter is pretty suspenseful…**

10 ~ The Tape

I force myself to be strong and look into his eyes, trying to give the impression of being particularly bored instead of absolutely terrified. Of what- I don't know. "Tris." He smiles at me, but he seems uncomfortable. Good.

"Tob-" I stop, realising how it's always been habit to call him that. I clear my throat, "_Four."_ I can see it hurts and I'm glad of it. When he is hurt you can't see it in his face, you see it in his eyes.

The look flits across his face and it is soon gone as quickly as it came. "Tris, I need to talk to you." The way he says it, implies he does not want it to be here.

"Oh I see. So _you _need to talk to _me_?" I surprise myself at how cool it comes out even though I am shaking inside.

He looks away and I take that opportunity to push past him and head to the control room in search of Will. I don't even bother to see that look in his eyes as I walk away. Honestly, I don't care. I head straight to the control room, my head held high.

The doors are unlocked thankfully, and I walk in where Will has his back to me. He hasn't noticed me come in and I try to catch a glimpse of what he was doing. He shoves what looked like a diamond ring in his pocket when he sees me and my heart leaps. I couldn't be sure though, I may have not seen correctly.

"What are you doing here?" He looks nervous and fumbling with something in his pocket.

"I need your help." I tell him. He looks lost and uncomfortable, "Will, what's wrong?"

"I uh…uh…" He turns his head away, his hand still in the pocket of his jacket.

I reach out and pull his hand out of his pocket and look closely at what it is clenched tightly around a small gold ring with a sparkling diamond in the centre. His eyes meet mine which around are wide with shock.

"Oh my god, Will…" It dawns on me suddenly, he is going to propose.

"Look, I didn't want anyone to know so please don't tell-"

"I won't." I cut in, "When did you plan on doing it?"

She shrugs, "I'm not sure, I'll see how I go." I give him a congratulatory hug. Maybe I was wrong, maybe there is such thing as forever. "So what brings you here?" He asks.

I look around nervously, "I'm here to ask a favour…"

"Sure. What is it?"

I bit my lip, "Could you show me the tape of the video cameras yesterday?"

He raises an eyebrow at me, "I'm afraid I'm not authorized to do that."

"Oh come on Will!" I whine, "Please?"

"Fine, fine. Just hurry up." He sits down in his chair and turns on the monitors and finds the video tapes of yesterday. It begins playing and I find myself watching an empty hallway. A few people walk by, but no one of interest.

I furrow my brow in frustrated, we'll be here all day. Will looks up at watches me, "What exactly are you looking for?" He queries.

"Just…" I hesitate, "I just want a close look at who leaves the Dauntless during the day."

"Are you looking for someone in particular?" He asks.

I nod nervously. Could he know?

"I'll speed up the tapes a bit." He holds down a button on the keyboard.

I scan the screen for him but nothing comes up until… "Wait…" I grab Will's arm, which quickly presses the pause button and looks carefully at the screen.

He stares at me, "It's just Eric, I already told you he had left."

I ignore him, "What time did he leave?"

Will presses a button which brings up the time of the recording. 10:45. "Hold on a second." I think really hard back to the other morning. I saw Eric at breakfast that morning and Mark was with me, then Mark left to go somewhere. Eric soon followed. "Rewind the tape." I order.

Will does what I tell him too and this time I look more closely at the screen. "There," I point, "Stop it there." Will pauses the tape and I see his eyes widen in surprise and confusion. He looks up at me and they widen even more at the realisation I am not surprised.

I'm not surprised, just angry. Not surprised because I had guessed this was the case before. Angry because I had guessed this was the case before and it turns out I was right.

**DUNN…DUNNN…DUUUNNNN….  
Dayyyuumm that was exciting right? Haha. Ooooohhhh I just remembered. The next chapter which I will post tomorrow sticking to my new Saturday schedule is a very intense FOUR/TRIS chapter so stay tuned! I know I can't wait… It' so exciting cause their just so…. Ahhh….**

**Anyways, I love you all! Xx**

**~Lel**


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay guys, here is chapter 11… :D**

11 ~ Don't You Dare

I lay on my bed staring up at the ceiling, my fists clenched tightly. There is a small knock at the door and I sit up abruptly. I look in the mirror and attempt to fix myself up. I sigh and rise from the bed and open the door.

He stands there leaning against the door frame, his hands in his pocket. He looks so relaxed and calm, meanwhile I can feel my pulse rising and my own hands shaking as I slam the door quickly closed. He takes a step in so that his foot stops the door from closing and he looks at me.

"Get your foot out of my room." I say quietly.

"I will when you let me inside." He says calmly.

I glare at him with more hatred than I thought I had in me, "How dare you." I snarl, "How dare you come over here and tell me what to do."

He stares at me but without anger. He stares at me with nothing, and that almost hurts me more. "I'm sorry. I'm just here to talk."

I turn around and wipe my eyes. _No Tris, not here. _"Get out."

"Tris, I understand why you would be angry at me- "

I turn around, "Oh, do you now?"

"Tris, I know, what happened was- "

I cut him off, "You can't even begin to understand Four! Don't stand here and tell me you understand because you don't! You have no idea what you put me through! You made me feel so…" I suddenly burst into tears and no matter how hard I try, they don't stop coming. The pain and all the frustration of the day weigh down on my shoulders. I collapse in a heap on the ground.

I look up to see him watching me. I can tell he wants to do what he would have always done, which was wrap his arms around me and whisper into my hair that it was all going to be okay. But he can't do that now, I can see it in his eyes. He knows those days are over. Everything is not going to be okay because I lost the most important thing in my entire life.

He waits patiently for me to pull myself together. Slowly my breathing begins to slow down and the tears are no longer coming. I'm all cried out, and what's worse was that it was in front of _him. _I wipe my tearstained cheeks which are red from the humiliation and get up.

His eyes remain on mine as he enters the room and closes the door behind him. I don't know why, but I let him and sit on my bed. I do not look at him. A part of me wanted him to comfort me before, but a part of me didn't want him to touch me. But the thought that he didn't even try to hurts, but I ignore it as he begins to speak.

"Are you aware of where Eric was the other day?" Four asks.

I nod slowly, and cringe at the fact that neither one of us is talking about what happened a minute ago. Just like us to never speak of something and pretend it hasn't happened just because it's what is easiest.

"Do you have any idea why he would be there?" Four asks. I hold my breath. I do know why he was there; he was following Mark. But I keep my mouth shut. When I don't reply he continues, "Tris, I came here because you are the only person I knew smart enough to help me."

I stare at me feet and ignore what he said, he can't think that by complimenting me I will suddenly forget everything and help him. He doesn't really think I will does he?

He sighs, "Tris, I know I'm in no position to ask-"

"Stop that." I say quietly, "Stop pretending you know when you don't and stop making it out like you understand what I'm going through because we all know that is a lie."

He laughs sadly and sighs again, "Tris, you need to stop assuming you know things too. Because this whole time all you have done is tell me what I know and how I feel and how I don't understand. But maybe if you took some time to stop assuming you would realise that maybe there is more to it."

I glare at him, "What is that supposed to mean?"

He gets up and heads for the door and opens in. Before he closes it behind him he pauses, "Figure it out."

**Woah…  
So as usual I will be gratefully accepting all feedback from you guys and what you thought, also, just for fun in your review please tell me your personal take on what happened between Four and Tris and I will read them all and possibly give you some clues when I update…**

**Remember, I shall update every week so expect one next Saturday :D :D**

**Happy reading and reviewing this chapter!**

**~Lel**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey my dear readers! Here is chapter 12 as promised, very excited to be posting a new chapter! I hope you like it! **

12 ~ Trust

The next morning the dining room is filled with excited chatter and I remember the choosing day is tomorrow. That means initiate training starts tomorrow and I have absolutely no idea where to start. I pause and try and think about my initiate training, but it was a while ago and I have spent so long trying to block most of it out.

I know I need to start figuring out how I am going to run this thing, so I head to the training room and do what I always do when I need to think; I throw knives. As the first knife hits the exact centre I smile a little and remember my own initiate training, at least what I can remember of it.

The first thing we did was learn how to fire a gun. A pick up the small pistol in the racks to my left and pull the trigger. The bullet sped through the air and hit the target. "Good shot."

I look up to see him leaning against the door frame. I look away and pause, waiting for my heartbeat to slow down. I lift up the gun and aim again, "I'd come here generally to be _alone._" I spit the words at him; again the bullet hitting the centre.

"You know if you lift the gun up a bit more, keeping your hand steady won't be so hard." He folds his arms across his chest, sighing as if he has told me this a thousand times before; which he has.

Without thinking, I do what he tells me, forgetting that he is anything but Four the instructor. My hand is a lot steadier this time, just like he said, and I find it easier to shoot straight. I ignore the smug look on his face and shot again.

He steps further into the room until I can sense him behind me. My arm is tired from lifting the heavy gun and my next shot misses as my arm struggles to keep the gun upright. Four comes behind me and holds my arms in place and this time the bullet hits where it should.

I shake his arms off me and turn around, "What do you want?" I snap.

He steps back a bit, "I wanted to discuss initiate training which, by the way, is starting tomorrow."

I roll my eyes, "I know."

"Well then you must also know that you are not allowed to train on your own, you need someone to guide you, someone with more experience…"_ No, _I think. "…someone like me." He finishes.

My heart beat begins to speed up, "And do I get any say in this?"

"No. Tris you're a very capable person but we both know that without me by your side helping you, this training isn't going to work properly." He says.

I frown, feeling like I've just been slapped in the face, "Four don't say I'm capable when what you really think is that I'm too stupid or whatever to train these kids."

"Tris you know that's not what I meant-" I turn away from him and blink back tears, "Tris…"

"Forget it." I wipe my eyes with my palm.

"Tris," He turns me around to face him, "I think you're very capable but..."

"But I'm not good enough. Right?" I pull away.

He frowns, "Why do you say that? Not good enough for what?"

"You." I say it so quietly, I begin to doubt whether I said it at all.

But the crease between his brow and the grave look on his face proves me wrong, "Tris, I need you to understand something that is not something I should expect you to." He starts.

I frown, "What?"

"That sometimes you have to do something for the good of somebody else, even if they don't see it at the time."

I stare at him, confused. What does he mean? I shake my head, "Four, I don't understand…"

He takes both my hands gently and the worried look on his face keeps me from pulling away, "Tris lots of things are happening right now and I can't explain it to you now, all I ask is that you trust me."

I've never been so confused. What does he mean by all of this? What can't he explain to me? I nod at him slowly, still unsure of myself. All I know is that he needs me to trust him. But after everything that has happened, can I do that?

**So what did you think? I'd love it if you were to review… :D**

**Thanks guys, I appreciate it always x**

**~Lel**


	13. Chapter 13

**HEY! Other week down **** Here's Chapter 13 and maybe if I feel kind I will post one tomorrow… but not promising anything! Omg I was so excited because one of my favourite fanfics called 'a fragile bond' by iamanawesomeperson came out and I've been waiting for this chapter for so long! It's an amazing fanfic so read it if you get the chance!**

13 ~ Emily

_She ran past the row of houses, panting as she continued to pick up the pace. Strands of her dark hair fell across her eyes and she swatted them away. She focused all her attention towards her only goal right now: getting as far away as she possibly can. _

_She didn't check to see if anyone was following her, she wasn't far enough away to check either. She said a silent thankyou that she was able to practice running or she would have collapsed by now. A little further, she told herself, just focus on getting away._

We gathered around the net waiting for the new Dauntless initiates to drop from the tall building above. Four stood by my side. I didn't even bother after yesterday to object to his help with this. The worried look on his face told me he had other things on his mind. I would have asked him what was wrong a long time ago, but things have changed.

The first person to hit the net with a load thud is a large boy. I can tell peeking through his dark shirt that he is very muscly and I realise he is a Dauntless born initiate. The next one is a girl and she hits the net with a groan. "I never thought we'd have to do _this._"

I watch girl after boy after girl drop into the net and finally when they are all gathered in a group, Four addresses them. "Welcome all of you to Daunt-"

He is suddenly cut off by a large thud and we all turn to look towards where the noise came from. A girl lies, a tangle of limbs, on the net. I hear a small groan escape her and I realise she must have hit it hard.

She mutters an, "Ow…" And then abruptly sits up to face us all who are gaping at her in shock and confusion.

Nobody moves including Four who doesn't take his eyes from her. "Who are you?" He asks sternly. She stares back at him, neither of them move.

_She stopped running and ducked behind a large bush, catching her breath. Through the leaves she saw that she was alone and no one was behind her. She breathed a sigh of relief and laid back. She felt her heart beat resuming its normal pace and smiled. The hard part was over._

_Then she realised that from here, she had nowhere to go. She had lift there her whole life, she had nowhere else. I could become factionless, she thought through gritted teeth, knowing like everyone that to be factionless is worse than death. _

_The only other option left was to join another faction, one she would never be found in. she couldn't attend choosing day tomorrow, most people there knew who she was. She would have to sneak in to a faction. Somehow._

"Who are you?" I repeated the question again, growing tired of this stupid game the girl was playing with me. She looked away, once again refusing to answer. I groaned and sat down holding my head in my hands.

Four had left me here to find out who this girl is that appeared in our compound. She wasn't even at choosing day. Four assumed she was factionless, but I didn't think that any factionless person would risk what this girl has.

"Why are you making this hard?" I ask, ignoring the throbbing pain in my head. She picked at her nails refusing to look at me. I was ready to throw my chair at the wall. "Look, I hate this as much as you do, but we can't just accept a girl we know nothing about into our compound. So all I want to know is where did you come from and why are you here?"

I hear Four enter the room behind me and I quickly get up and walk over to him. "How's it going?" He whispers.

"It's a complete waste of time, she won't talk." I sigh, ready to give up.

Four looks at me, "I'm sure you're doing great." I hold his stare what feels like an hour unable to pull away. I look over to the girl who has obviously been listening in to our conversation but is now pretending she wasn't.

I sit back down at the table and Four quietly leaves the room. For a while, all she does is stare at me, then she finally speaks. "So when did you guys break up?"

She asks it casually, but it makes my heart begin to race. I flick the hair out of my eyes, "What makes you say that?"

She rolls her eyes as if I should know, "It's so obvious… I mean he just looked at you and I could see you freaking out as if he hasn't looked at you like that in years because you guys have been apart for a long time. You are also unable to forgive him for something he did which is why you were the first one to pull away. But the intensity in your stare tells me you used to really like him maybe even love him, but now you are unsure about your feelings." She stops and takes a breath.

I look at her in astonishment, "Wow." She hides a smile. "And I am not _unsure _about my feelings," I quickly explain, "I fully understand how I feel."

She snorts, "Yeah… that's why it took you half an hour to stop staring into his eyes."

I ignore the comment, "So are you going to tell me your name now?"

She considers this for a second and then smiles, "Emily."

**Tbh, I wasn't even planning to put in a new character but I thought it would add to the "mystery" of the story :P**

**Thanks again you guys I love you all! And don't forget to REVIEW :D**

**~Lel**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey there ;) Okay cause I was feeling generous I thought I'd post this chapter today and this chapter gives you a bit of an inside into what happened between Tris and Four so read on! Also more Four/Tris stuff promised cause its getting to the point where all secrets shall be revealed… :D**

14 ~ Why?

"_All of us were dying, one by one from various diseases. It was always a struggle to eat and many children died before the age of 5." I lay back in my chair and made a sound somewhat like a cry. The girl, Tris, I think she said her name was stared at me._

"_Do you have any family?" She asked._

"_I have a father and…" I stopped, was it wise to tell them I had a mother? I never knew my father so it seemed safe, "and that's it. It's always been just me and him."_

_She looked at me suspiciously, "So you've always been factionless?" _

_I bite down on my lip slightly; I could tell something about my story didn't click with her. for some reason she wasn't believing me. I began to panic, what if she found out who I really was? "Yes, I was born to factionless parents but my mother died at childbirth." I lied._

_She seemed to relax more after I said that, as if this part of my story seemed more real. "So why are you here?"_

_I begin to worry about my answer, why am I here? I know I cannot tell her why so instead I say, "My father died just before I came here, I'd never had the chance to live my life and I had hoped I could live it here."_

_She considers my answer, "And why should you be allowed into our complex when all the other factionless are living alone and dying of diseases."_

_I say without hesitation, "Because I belong here. Please let me train just like an initiate with them and let me prove to you this is where I belong. Please." This part is not a lie; I've always admired the Dauntless and always thought I was most like them. I know I am._

"_Let me have a talk to Four." She gets up and leaves the room and I hear the small click as the door locks behind her._

"Four." I call as I cross the hall to his apartment room. He is standing outside about to let himself in, the key in the lock.

"Uh hi." He says it awkwardly and suddenly my face turns red.

"Um… I'm not going to stay, I just needed to quickly talk to you about that girl?" I say, preparing to quickly leave.

"Yes of course." He unlocks the door and holds it open for me, "Come on in."

I hesitate and he sees it in my face but says nothing. I look away when the familiarity of his room comes back to me and I remember the countless times I had come here. This was starting to become more painful than I had hoped.

Four was watches me and thankfully breaks the silence. "So what's up?"

I sit carefully onto the bed, "Um, I spoke to Emily." I pause and clear my throat, "She says she's factionless and came here after her father died of disease hoping to start her life. She says she wants to join the initiates and train like them."

Four stares at me, "Did you tell her no?"

I gape at him, "What? You wanted me to tell this poor girl she has to leave? Four she has nobody left!"

"I don't care Tris! People are factionless for reasons, and it is not our job to try and fix their problems!"

"Why are you being so heartless?" I snap.

"Heartless? Tris, get over yourself okay?" He crosses his arms.

"How dare you! I thought maybe you of all people would understand what it feels like to be alone!" The words hit him so hard he steps back and I see the hurt in his eyes.

"Wow, Tris." He looks away.

I feel a pang of guilt but all my anger and frustration causes me to say, "And you've got no one to blame but yourself."

He sighs, "Tris, you've got to stop blaming me for what happened."

I glare at him, "Who do I blame then Four?" He refuses to meet my eyes, and doesn't answer. I feel my eyes fill with tears, "Just tell me one thing Four, just one." He looks up and I ask, "Why did you do it?"

He sits beside me and stares at me for a while before he speaks, "Tris is wasn't working-"

"Oh bull Four! Don't lie to me okay? Don't say it wasn't working when just two days before you told me you wanted to marry me! What changed Four? You realised I wasn't marriage worthy?" I cry.

He doesn't answer, like he normally does when he has nothing left to say to you. "I'm going to go talk to the girl." And with that he gets up and leaves me for the second time in my life.

**Did you like it, cause I did! :P Haha I hope you did…**

**Anyways thanks again and always x**

**~Lel**


	15. Chapter 15

15 ~ The Proposal

_That guy Four was in the room most of the afternoon grilling me. I answered every question ask except unlike Tris this guy didn't believe a word I said. Except he didn't say anything about it, he pretended he believed my fake factionless story but I knew he didn't. _

_When he asked me things I knew he was thinking about something else; his mind was elsewhere. He was probably thinking about the Tris girl. I wonder how long those two were together? I answer his next questions easily just making up some stupid story about how I want to live my life for once instead of the truth which is I'm trying to stay alive._

_When the questioning is over he sits and stares at me which I've realised he does a lot. Like he's talking to you through his eyes instead of his mouth. "Look," He says, "I'm not going to tell the leaders you're here, in fact I'm going to put you into the computer as one of the new initiates." _

_My face lights up and I grin at him, "Thank you so much! You won't regret it!" _

"_Not so fast," He says quickly, "before I do that you need to tell me one thing."_

_I grin, "Sure."_

"_What faction are you from?"_

_I don't move, damn that means he doesn't believe me after all. But I can't tell him! I realise I need to if I want to stay, but what if he tracks me down to find out everything about me? He sees my worry and adds, "I promise I won't try and find out anything about your past, you will be left alone as if you are just a normal initiate."_

_This calms my breathing a bit and I sigh. He stares at me and I answer, "Erudite."_

After I calm myself down I head back to my apartment, but on the door is a paper stuck with sticky tape. It says, _Dinner tonight at 7, I'll pick you up. Mark. _I smile and go into my apartment forgetting to pull it off the door.

I decide on a simple black dress that reaches my knees and I wait for Mark to arrive. I am suddenly giddy with excitement as I remember I haven't seen him in ages, and then I remember the tape. I feel this sinking feeling in my stomach when I realise I need to talk to him about this.

When he knocks on my door I am no longer excited but instead stressed. We hug and he tells me about his day as we walk to this small café near the shops area of the complex. He laughs and tells me about this funny guy at work, and I pretend to listen when I'm not.

We sit at a table and are served this delicious dish and he continues to talk and I pretend to listen. My mind is elsewhere, in between my episode with Four today and the tape. But he soon interrupts my thoughts, "Tris I've been thinking a lot about us lately," he admits and I don't know what to expect, "We've been together for a while now but it isn't going anywhere,"

I find myself getting up to leave, "I'm not doing this again." I say.

He gets up also, "Do what? I actually kind of wanted to ask if you wanted to marry me?" I stare at him, no words in my mouth, "I know it's sudden but it's what I want, and hopefully it's what you want too."

I think about it before I answer. It's too soon to think about marriage I realise, especially since I haven't resolved this problem with Four. But I also don't want a marriage with Mark built on all these secrets he is keeping from me.

"Mark, thank you, but I…" I trail off and he turns away, "Mark I just need some time to think about this okay? Before I give you a definite answer." He nods slowly and I hug him, "Thankyou for understanding."

We walk back to my apartment in silence. It's dark and no one else is around and I realise now is the time to do this. "Mark I've done a lot of thinking about the other day, remember when you came home hurt?"

"Damnit Tris, I told you to forget about that."

"I know, I know. It's just it got me to thinking and so I went and did something." I try to smile at him.

"What?" Mark stops walking and stares at me. "What did you do?"

I bite down onto my lip, "Mark I went to the control room to see a video tape where you left the Dauntless compound."

Mark's small face is filled with anger, "You spied on me?"

"Not exactly… Mark I was just worried about you!" I said, my voice small.

"I told you to forget about it… You always push things too far Tris always…"

"Mark why didn't you tell me you left Dauntless compound? Why do you hide everything from me? What the hell were you doing out there, who attacked you?" The slap hits my cheek with enough force to knock me backwards.

Mark stands in front, his face no longer angry, filled with guilt. "Tris I'm so sorry I…" He reaches out and touches my arm but I swat him away.

"Don't touch me!" I cry, tears spilling onto my cheeks. I bring my hand to my swollen cheek, he hit it hard.

"Tris, none of this would have happened if you didn't mind your own business. It had nothing to do with you but you always push too far." He turns away, "That's why he left you."

He didn't intend for me to hear it but I did and it hurts. "Don't speak to me ever again!" I scream running away from him, to the safety of my apartment.


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay guys I'll just explain why I have posted three extra chapters this weekend…**

**So I have a lot of exams and whatever on at the moment (ugh ikr) so it's really stopping me from writing so I'm going to post enough chapters so that for the next two or so weeks I won't have to post any for you. Sorry for the inconvenience guys **** but on the bright side you have plenty to read today! This chapter is so amazing you guys I hope you love it as much as I did :D ENJOY!**

16 ~ The Fight

I don't make it into my apartment room before I collapse in a heap outside my door and sob into my hands. Soon I feel arms around me and I don't even have to look to know its Four, comforting me even though he shouldn't. I accept it none the less.

He holds me for a while and I feel myself drifting off to sleep when Four abruptly lets go and stands over me. "Tris are you going to tell me what happened now?"

I nod and pull myself up to my feet. We go into my apartment and I sit down on the bed and try to think back to what happened before. I am lost for words when Four says, "Did you agree to marry him?"

I raise an eyebrow at him, not angry that he was there. He must have seen the note; I realise, and followed us there. I hold back a smirk. "You followed me?"

I see Four relieved that I am not mad, "Yes." He leaves it there. We sit there in silence and he repeats the question "Did you?"

I consider my answer and end up surprising myself, "Actually Four, it's none of your business."

He looks taken aback and I am as surprised as he feels. "What?"

"I said that what happens between me and Mark has nothing to do with you, nor do you have any right to know."

"I have no right to know what goes on in your life?" Four snaps.

"Yes. You gave up that right a long time ago." I say. We sit there in silence and I know that he knows I am right.

"I'm sorry." He finally says, "I just don't trust Mark that's all. I never have."

"How long have you known Mark?" I ask a question I've been meaning to ask for a while.

"I've worked with him for a year or so, but never really got to know him. I kind of have resented him ever since I found out you and him were…" He stops.

What he says angers me, "So you can move on and I can't, is that it?"

He frowns, "No, I'm not saying that."

"You broke my heart but you still think that you own me?" I cry.

"Tris, what the hell? I never said I own you! Stop putting words into my mouth!" Four shouts.

I stand up, "But you moved on… and what I can't?"

Four rises also, anger filling his tired face, "When did I move on?"

"Don't play coy with me, Four. I remember that stupid blonde you dated!"

"What blonde?" Four shouts, "Tess? We never dated we were co-workers!"

"You kissed her!" I cry.

"You followed me?!" Four looks away, angry.

I bite my lip, I did follow Four. "You followed me." I say, my voice small.

Four sighs and sits back down on the bed, "We did date, but it didn't last long. I broke it off after a month or so."

"Why?" I ask, not sure what answer I am expecting here.

"Because every time I was with her…" He pauses, and I find myself holding my breath. "I thought of you."

**I really liked the ending might I add…**

**Haha thanks again you guys! **

**~Lel**


	17. Chapter 17

**Okay so I've been having this dream where I'm asleep and suddenly this large group of fanfic readers come and kill me because it's been God knows how long and I've written nothing. So before you all maul me to death I've had severe writers block but now I am up and ready and I know where this story will go **** Please please forgive me and I'm so sorry for letting you all down I suck… **

**So hopefully this chapter will make you feel better (probably not) but anyway, the italics is the 'flashbacks'. So let's pick up where we left off, and hopefully you can all stop plotting my death… :/**

17~ The Truth

Tobias leaves soon after and I find myself for once in my life absolutely stumped on how to proceed. I had my life sorted out and planned up until now and now all of that has been thrown away. I shake my head, unable to believe the thoughts going through my head right now. Four's feeling _never_ changed and instead of jumping around and crying with overwhelming joy, I feel my heart ache more than it used to and I can't explain it.

I fall back onto my mattress and hold back the tears of frustration begging me to be released. I rub my eyes with the palms of my hands. It seems so long ago it happened, when Tobias broke my heart. Told me it was over, told me he didn't love me anymore. He knew how much he hurt me and I can't seem to let go of that.

I decide it's time to find out the truth. I stumble into the dark hallway and make my way to his apartment room and bang on the door furiously. As he opens I stare at him, "Let's finish this," I say, "once and for all."

"_It's cold out here." Tobias stares at me for a long time, looking like he's someplace else. He looks nervous of sorts, but I have no idea about what. "Tobias," I ask hesitantly, "You alright?"_

He shakes his head and mutters to himself, "Sorry Tris," he pulls of his jacket and places it over my shoulders. I smile at him gratefully, but I know this is not about the jacket. 

"_So are you going to tell me what's wrong?"_

"Tris, what are you doing here?" His voice breaks apart my thoughts flooding my tired mind. His hair falls across his eyes and he flicks it away carelessly. The tight circles that have formed around his eyes allow me to see how tired he is, to be frank he looks fed up with life in general. This brings me straight to the point.

"Tobias we need to talk about this. Please explain to me once and for all what was going through your head when you asked me to marry him? Did the promise you made to me when you gave me that ring slip your mind when you called everything off one week later?" I snap.

Tobias sighs and runs his hands through his hair, "Do you want to come in?"

I don't move, "Answer me."

"Tris you don't understand…" He trails off and looks at me, his eyes full of worry.

But I'm not leaving this time, no more walking away, "Then make me."

"_Tobias, what is it?" I repeat, staring up at him._

_He shuffles his feet uncomfortably before sitting down on the park bench beside us, motioning to me to do the same. "Tris, we've been together for a while now, and I just want to make sure this isn't one of those relationships that don't plan on going anywhere."_

_I nod, trying to understand, "What are you saying?"_

"_I'm saying," He looks at me and smiles, "I'm saying that I want you to marry me."_

"Tris it's complicated…" He looks at me willing me to drop it.

But I know he knows all too well that this has gone on long enough, "Explain it to me. Tell me once and for when did you stop loving me?!" I cry and this time I don't stop the tears.

He stares at me sympathetically, "I never stopped loving you, Tris."

I gape at him, "Then what the hell was going through your brain when you ripped me heart out?!"

_It has been a week since we spoke. A week since I started wearing that beautiful diamond ring on my finger. A week since I felt like the happiest person in the world. So when Four asked me to meet him tonight, I agreed._

_When I see him I fun up to him and wrap my arms around him. "I've missed you." He stands their uncomfortably, not hugging me back. I suddenly tense up with worry, "What's wrong?"_

_He stares at me, no warmth in his eyes, "Tris, we need to talk."_

"Tris I never wanted to break up with you. I wanted to marry you more than anything in the world." Tobias smiles at me sadly.

The anger wells up inside of me, "Stop telling me lies!" I scream and fall in a heap on the ground.

He crouches down in front of me, "I'm not Tris, I'd never lie to you."

I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, "That's what I thought…"

"_Tris I need to tell you this because I can't lead you one like this anymore." I turn away from him._

"_Don't do this to me…" I whisper._

"_Tris I don't love you, and I never did." _

"_Please…" I clutch my stomach doubled over in more pain than I can bear, "Tell me it's a joke, tell me you're lying…"_

_He shakes his head, "Tris I would never lie to you."_

**Alright if you guys still want to comment on the chapter I will be eternally grateful or if you're all extremely angry with me I will understand if you don't. But first, I am soooooo thankful to all of you who still subscribed to my story and still commented and kept faith in me. I never forgot you not once I've just had to re-evaluate the whole next part of my story and it's my fault it's taken so long. **

**Please don't hate me **

**Xxxxxxxx**

**Lel**


	18. Chapter 18

**Alrighty so this is the part 2 kinda of my last chapter and since I'm bored and alone I'm going to get as many chapters done for you as I can. Also bear in mind, the last bit is Tobias saying it, but that'll all make sense to you soon…**

18~ The Promise

"_Tris it's not working surely you understand this?" My back still faced him, I didn't want him to see me cry._

"_No. I don't." I gently wiped my mascara stained cheeks and turned around, "I love you, Tobias Eaton. So I don't have any idea what the hell you are talking about." I spat out the words._

"_Tris, it's over." _

_I marched up to him and slapped him so hard my palms stung, "How dare you?! How dare you?!"_

_He rubbed his red cheek and stopped my second blow with his other hand, "Tris can we make this as painless as possible please?"_

_I ripped my wrist out of his grasp, "It's too late for that."_

"So were you lying then or are you lying now?" I held my breath.

"I…" He took a deep breath and prepared himself for the worst, "I lied then."

I felt a rush of the most intense emotion I've ever felt and I shoved him as hard as you can. "You… you…" I beat his chest with my fist, not physically harming him. "You still cared and you…?" I pushed him a second time, this time causing him to step back.

I run out of the room into the hallway, "Tris, wait." Tobias called, jogging behind me.

I turn around, "Don't come any closer Tobias Eaton."

"_Tris let's just do the mature thing here…" He reached for both my shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze._

_I stare at him and this time the tears blur my vision so much I can barely see his face. I'm no longer angry, just exhausted and broken… "Please Tobias…"_

"_Tris I called you here to say goodbye. I got a job that won't allow me to see you around anymore, which I thought might ease the awkwardness." _

_I gaped at him and wiped my eyes only to have them fill up again, "Tobias…"_

"_So, Tris. Goodbye." He turns and walks away from me._

I stand and stare at him. I want to forgive him. I want to go back to the way things were. I want. I want. I want. But that was before. I'm stronger now. I don't need him. I don't need anyone. He is completely still, waiting for me to regain my senses and come back. And believe me, I want to.

But all this time he still… I shake my head. I need to stop fooling myself it's over. "Tris…?" Tobias asks gently.

I feel a single tear slide down my cheek and flick it away. No more crying, Tris. No more tears. "Good bye Tobias."

"_No…" I fall to my knees and squeeze my eyes shut, "Come back. Don't leave me."_

_I looked up and saw he had stopped and was watching me, but I couldn't read his expression. I keep talking hoping I can distract him for long enough to keep him here. "Remember that day I let you into my fear landscape?"_

_He doesn't face me, but I swear I see him nod. I keep talking, "Remember what my last fear was?"_

_This time I see him nod and he turns around but I keep going, "Do you remember when I was crying and you comforted me?" I get up and take one step towards him, "You made me a promise that day, a promise you said you would never break, a promise that has kept me going up until now. Do you remember what it was?"_

_He took a step towards me and stopped, "Tobias?" I repeat, "Do you?"_

"_Good bye." He whispered, and walked away._

_I do remember when I went through that fear landscape with her. I remember her trembling as she confronted her final fear. I remember how long it took to calm her breathing again. I didn't know how to make it better, the only thing I could do is make her a promise. A promise I intended to keep for the rest of my life._

_Let me tell you, I never break a promise. Nor have I in the past. But I had a good reason to break that promise, although sometimes I think it wasn't good enough. I know I need to tell Tris the whole story but of course that's easier said than done. _

_One day she'll understand, but until then I will have to live with myself for walking away from the one thing that mattered to me. The one person I ever dared to say:_

"_I will never leave you."_

**Just before I finish up here I have a few thankyous to make:**

**My first thankyou goes out to the following people: notonpurpose, lola. , areyoukidding, divergentlover21, ziawisegirl, pjato-lover, DivergentRide, purpleme6, ShatterMyHeart710, xxXAdrianaXxx**

**I got an email that these people subscribed as like 1am, and instead of being like "ugh I've woken up" I was overwhelmed with joy. If you followed me or subscribed to me I love you so so much. And I'm so sorry if I left someone out or if I misspelt your penname. This was only last night though. All the other subscriptions that I got before that mean the world to me also.**

**My next thankyou goes out to a guest who goes by 'Sophia' who gave me the sweetest review I have ever gotten in my life and I just thought she deserved a shout out **

**Here's what she wrote to me: Best story I have read yet and I have read a lot of fanfics. Please write more. I live all the way in America and I think it's so cool that I read it from here and you write from there.**

**So Sophia my biggest of thankyous you are so sweet. I will write more I promise and yes it is very exciting that you live in America. Because I sit here at my computer in Australia and it makes me so excited when I have readers over seas :D :D :D**

**Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou**

**~Lel x**


	19. Chapter 19

**Heey my lovelies :) Here is the next chapter and I will post the one after that soon. It's good cause the whole story starting to piece together now… anyway enjoy!**

19~ Confrontation

I wake bright and early the next morning. Having spent the night on Christina's sofa my back aches, but I knew this was somewhere Four wouldn't go to find me. I run a comb through my hair and get dressed, skipping breakfast completely. Understandably I don't feel hungry. Christina sleeps peacefully on the bed, and I smile at the thought of her and Will together. I wonder when he plans to ask her.

I go straight to the dormitory of the new initiates first thing and wake them all. They groan at me and don't move. "Get up, get dressed. I expect you all in the dining hall in ten minutes." I hear more groans and the creaks of old beds as they get up. I feel myself laugh.

After breakfast they enter one by one into the training room and I give them a quick brief on stage one, and then I introduce them to their first lesson based solely on firing a gun. "What do we need to know that for anyway?" One girl snaps. She is twirling her blond ponytail with one hand.

"What if someone tries to hurt you and you need to defend yourself?" One boy replies, looking bored.

"Who would want to hurt you?" She says.

The boy looks up, "Well I don't know. Sometimes the people you last person you think would ever want to hurt you does."

I turn away, "Each of you pick up a gun from the table."

They watch me intently, wondering if they said something offensive. I motion for them to do as they're told. They each take a gun and stand infront of a target. "This is how you are to hold the gun." I demonstrate.

"Are we supposed to get monitored as we do this?" The girl asks.

"Well yes of course." I reply, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean aren't you the only one monitoring us?"

"Yes, I guess so…"

"Then who's he?" she points behind me and I turn around.

"Four." I say with my voice even.

He looks at me and it almost seems like he's giving me some sort of message… "Are we supposed to be following this?" The girl asks.

"No." I say, "There's nothing to follow."

"Isn't there?" She asks and I shoot her a dirty look. "It's almost like you don't want us to push this subject any further?"

"Yes." Four walks over to her, "And if you know what's best for you, you will drop it now." The girl stares at him suddenly frightened.

"Typical." I mutter under my breath and then to my dismay realise I didn't say it as softly as I thought. The whole group stares at me and so does Four.

"What?" He stares.

I forget about everyone else in the room, "Just typical, you never want to explain anything to anyone."

"Is this about…"

I motion for him to stop as I catch the demanding looks on all of them in front of us. "Don't even." I push past him and show them again how to hold the weapon, but they continue watching us, their eyes drifting back and forth.

"What's going on?" She asks, smiling smugly.

"Nothing." I reply meekly, desperate to get them to forget this stupid drama between me and Four.

"Typical." Four says, smiling.

I groan, "What?"

"Typical, you refuse to talk anything out." He shrugs.

"Excuse me? I want to talk about it Four. I want to understand." I turn my back to them and face him.

"I tried to talk to you last night Tris, remember?"

"Well excuse me for not taking what you told me lightly." I roll my eyes at him.

"What did he tell you last night?" The girl presses.

We both ignore her, "I wanted to talk that night Four. Remember? And what did you do? You walked away from me!" I snap. I can feel all their eyes on us now.

He sighs and shoves his hands in his pockets, "I don't know what you want from me Tris."

I stare at him. What do I want from him? "I want…"

"She wants you to love her." The girl chips in and I feel the heat flood to my cheeks but Four suppresses a grin.

He looks past me, "What's your name?"

"Summer," She smiles, "Summer Turnil."

Turnil… I almost laugh. Turnil, a typical Candor name.

**Okay so please let me know what you think and I've gotten a lot of "longer chapters" reviews and I will try but I like my chapters at this length because it allows me to separate out my ideas. Also, I was also told that I should have told you in the last chapter that the italics meant flashbacks. So just in case you missed it, at the beginning of chapter 17, I said that ITALICS MEAN FLASHBACKS, so there shouldn't be confusion, okay?**

**Alrighty guys **

**~Lel  
**


	20. Chapter 20

**Guys I'm so excited for you to read this chapter because all will be clear! If I have left out something and something is still unclear to you, comment and I will make sure to include an explanation next chapter. But please let me know…**

20~ Going Back

"Thanks for your input hon," I snap.

"It's the truth isn't it? That's all you want, that's all you ever wanted." She encourages, "You want him to love you."

I turn around and glare at her, "No."

"Come on Tris, everyone wants to be loved."

I don't move, "Well not me."

"I can tell when you're lying." She laughs and I hear Four snicker also.

I look at him long and hard, "I don't want you to love me."

"Well," Four shrugs, "it's too late for that."

"What?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Cause I already do."

"Aww…" I hear Summer breathe, "What are you guys waiting for?"

"It's not that simple Summer." I look to the ground.

Four touches my arm gently, "You're right, it's not."

"Can we talk outside please?" I emphasis the outside part, much to Summer's dismay.

He quickly nods, and we head outside and close the door behind us before we are joined by Summer as well. "Four," I say, "Talk to me."

He looks at me nervously, "The whole truth?"

"Yes."

"Okay, look I never wanted to break it off."

My eyes widen, "What?"

"Eric was the one who told me to break up with you." He says so quietly I almost miss it.

"What? Why the hell would he say that? And you listened to him?" He broke up with me based on what Eric told him?!

"It wasn't ever that simple Tris. I wasn't given a choice."

"Don't give me that Tobias. There's always a choice." I roll my eyes and feel anger rise inside me, not just for him but for Eric.

"Tris a war is coming." He says it simply, but I find myself short of breath.

"Huh?"

"That Emily girl. She wasn't factionless, she's never been factionless. She's Jeanine's daughter. She ran away from her home. Her mother wanted to use her as a hostage of sorts, to get what she wanted. Tris, she was willing to murder her own daughter to get her way." Suddenly this is all too much to take in. "I needed a government job, one where I would have enough power to do something. It was the only way I could make sure to keep everyone safe. I needed to be able to fight Jeanine."

"So you couldn't just tell me this?" I snap.

"No Tris. I needed to break up with you in order to keep the government job. I knew if I married you it would give you a big part in this war and I knew it wouldn't be safe for you." He sighs, willing me to understand.

"I can look after myself, Four." I cross my arms.

"Tris, you're Divergent. What kind of person would I be if I threw you in the middle of a war? You're Divergent Tris and understand that those people will kill you if they find out. I didn't want to give them that opportunity." He touches my elbow gently.

"Four you're Divergent too in case you've forgotten?" This whole thing is beginning to weigh down on me now.

"Yes Tris. But Eric knew you were Divergent. I don't know how, all I know is that if he knew it wouldn't be long before the others would know. That's why he told me to end it with you, to keep you safe. No one knows about me, so for now I'm not in any real danger." He tries to explain.

"Oh I see, so Eric's the nobleman now?" I roll my eyes, annoyed.

"No, absolutely not. Eric only wanted me to end it with you for his own selfish reasons. You just posed a threat to his important position as a Dauntless leader. He wanted you gone to keep his position. He just made me realise the danger I was putting you in by staying with you."

"And you couldn't have told me any of this?" I shout at him, completely and utterly frustrated.

"No. I needed you to have no idea." He attempts an explanation.

"But you let me think all these years that…" I feel the words come out, with more pain then I intended.

"I know Tris. I can't expect you to forgive me, just try to understand. I'm relieved I didn't tell you because that Mark would have gotten all the information out of you anyway."

"Mark? Why would Mark care?" I look up from the ground.

"He's been working for Jeanine." My eyes widen, yet I can't say I'm really surprised.

"Did you need that job though?" I ask, although I already know the answer.

"I always regretted choosing a position over you. But I'm glad I did, otherwise I would never have forgiven myself. This job was the only way I felt I could protect you, even if it meant giving you up."

"Was it hard?" I wonder if he knows what I mean. But the look on his face tells me giving me up was in fact very hard. I suddenly feel angry at myself for hating him all these years.

"I've never experienced anything more painful in my life." He admits and he turns to look at me, "I love you, Tris."

"Even after all of this?" I say, almost surprised.

"I never stopped." When he takes my hand, I don't pull away.

**OMG did you guys like it?!  
Hehehe I did… nah jks. Thank you all for reading x**

**~Lel**


	21. Chapter 21

**Guys I would like to thank you for your unending support towards my writing and that writing this fanfic has been a lot of fun! Although this is the finale of my story hopefully you all will like it and think it was worth the wait. It's a fair bit longer that's why it took so long. I love you all so much I don't deserve readers like you…**

21~ The End

The next few weeks blurred past filled with intense initiate training and Tobias and I making up for the last few years. Stage two arrived and Tobias decided he wanted to be the one to help them through the simulations so I found myself with nothing to do during the day.

Normally I would go see Christina and we'd talk in between her work sessions and gossip, but things weren't the same anymore. Last time I went we sat in awkward silence until eventually she made an attempt at some sort of excuse to get back to work. The terrible thing was, I couldn't blame her, I had wanted to do the same thing too.

Her and Will got married a few weeks back and she brought it up to Tobias and offered for both of us to come but her heart wasn't in it. She wanted a quiet wedding and the last thing she needed was me there, she was merely being polite. So of course we both declined.

Tobias was fairly disappointed, I knew he had some sort of friendly tie towards Will, but he knew things weren't good between Christina and I so he didn't push, much to my own relief. I don't know what went wrong between Christina and I, just that sinking feeling in my stomach that something had gone wrong and I was going to no effort to mend it.

Tobias meanwhile spent a lot of time at his own office. I knew something had begun between the factors but to be honest I was too scared to ask. He seemed more and more worried as each day past but I knew he would let me know when he needed me to.

That's the one good thing I've been able to walk away from all this from. These last years have been hard and very painful but I pushed through. I don't know when I lost my friends or when Tobias and I were able to fall back in sync, but it just happened. I'm grateful though, how easy it's been to have him back to me, sometimes I even think it's like he never left.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't forgotten all the pain he had put me through and it's not as if that has all been wiped away. But it's a clean slate now and I try to forget. The only thing that keeps me going is the realisation that what happened was just as if I was looking at a tiny part of the picture without realising what else was going on.

I've learnt from that I hope and hopefully that'll change my outlook on life. I know it's changed my outlook on relationships and everything else which brings my mind back to Christina. She was my best friend, my only really close friend that is, and I let her slip right out of my grasp. Sometimes I like to convince myself it was all for good in the end. But who am I fooling? Who of us two has benefitted from all of this?

Guilt weighs down on my heart when I realise, I didn't even get her a wedding gift...

"Hey!" Tobias cuts me off as he jogs towards me his eyes shining. "Tris are you busy; maybe we can go get some lunch since I'm finished for today?"

I smile at him and realise how much I've missed him. He left a gaping hole in my heart which I thought would never go, but to my relief it's slowly repairing itself. "Sure," I say and then bite my lip remembering, "There's just one thing I need to do first if that's alright."

He raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on it. He touched my arm gently nodding, and then walked off. I watched him walk away preserving the image in my mind. I knew I wasn't going to see him again likely if this planned on ending how I assumed it would.

Saying a final good bye in my mind, I headed towards Christina's apartment to mend some unfinished business before I left. I arrived at her doorstep with a large bouquet of flowers in my right hand and a letter in my left. She answered the door almost immediately but frowned when she saw me.

"Tris?" She asked hesitantly.

She looked almost the same except I noticed the dark circles beneath her eyes, "It's been a while…" I began.

She shrugged, "Yeah it kinda has."

"Can I come in?" I asked. She stared long and hard at me but then nodded, opening the door fully to let me in. I smiled gratefully. "Will not home?" I commented.

"No," She answered, "he had some work to do."

I nodded at sat down at a small table of to the side of the room and she stood hesitantly by the door, "Chris, can you sit down please?"

"Chris…" The name seemed foreign to her. "You know you're the only one who ever called me that…" I bit my lip, trying to think of something to say but she said exactly what I thought, "I missed that."

"Four, you're here, we've been looking for you everywhere." Another Dauntless leader approached me outside the dining room, "Where's Tris?" He noted.

"She's out doing something, what is it?"

His face spread with concern and I held my breath, "Four I think it's time we had a talk about what's going on before it's too late."

"What are the flowers for?" Christina asked.

I smiled, "Consider it some sort of a late wedding present," I hesitated, "and a sorry."

Her face lit up and she hugged me tightly, "I've missed you Tris."

I hugged her back, "My thoughts exactly."

"Jeanine has formed an army and there's not much time." I frowned, I knew this was going to happen sooner or later, I guess I had my hopes set upon the latter.

"What are we going to do?" I asked.

He rubbed his temples, "I don't know, we're not fit to fight an army of that size…"

"We _have_ to." I protested.

"She's discovered all the Divergent, there isn't much time. Eric thought maybe if we put our families into hiding and kept the rest to fight…" But I wasn't listening, I had stopped dead as soon as he said that first part. My thoughts were no longer on the army, my thoughts were only Tris.

"So how was it?" I asked excited and thrilled for her.

"The wedding? It was lovely everything I had ever dreamed of!"

I took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I wish I was there."

She smiled, "Me too." As if noticing the envelope in my other hand she pointed, "What's that Tris?"

My face darkened and I knew it was time, "Christina this for Tobias, you are not to read this do you understand me?"

She frowned, "Tris what's going on?"

"There's a war coming Chris…"

Her mouth opened and her eyes widened, "What are we going to do?"

I shook my head, "Christina I need you and Will to find somewhere to hide as soon as I leave, give this to Tobias and then run. Okay?"

She looked at me as if she didn't understand, "Where are you going?"

I patted her hand and gently placed the letter in it. I gave her a final hug and headed for the door. "It doesn't matter. Just promise me you'll give Tobias the letter and get the hell out of here. Please Christina promise me!"

Tears fell down her pink cheeks, "No I'm not letting you leave…"

"Chris please. There isn't much time…" I tried to let myself out of her firm grip on my arm.

"No Tris. You're not walking out on me again. Tell me where you're going!"

I pulled my arm away, tears blurring my vision, "Chris… It's a safe place…"

She rolled her watery eyes, "Oh yeah? If it was, why can't you tell Tobias where you're going? Why do I have to give him this to tell him?"

I squeeze my eyes shut, "You don't understand, he'd never let me go if he knew…"

She turned my face towards hers, "Then how," she asked, "can I?"

"I've got to go find Tris!" I stormed out of the room ignoring the calls of confusion coming from behind me. I needed to find her, make sure she was okay. Nothing had hurt her. Where could she have gone?

Then I stopped dead, if Jeanine knew who the Divergent were, she would have asked one of them to come to spare the life of the others. Then I realised whose life Tris wanted to save…

_Mine._

"Please Christina!" I begged, "Wouldn't you do anything for Will?"

She froze, "Yes, yes I would." Then her eyes widened and I knew deep down in my heart she knew and she understood.

"Then please, let me do this one final thing." She turned away from me and let go of my arm and I kissed her cheek gently. She didn't want to watch me leave, the last thing I saw was her fall to the ground and cry out.

I looked everywhere for her. Every room, every shop. Her apartment was empty which didn't surprise me. So I went to Christina's hoping maybe, just maybe she would know. I found her apartment easily to my relief and burst through the door to find her crying into the comforter at the end of the bed.

"Where's Tris?" I asked, and she looked up at me, her eyes filled with guilt.

She got up and hugged me, "Tobias I'm so so sorry…"

I gently held her away so I could see her face, "Christina what's going on? Where's Tris? Was she here?"

She nodded and held up an envelope with my name written neatly on the front. Her eyes pleaded forgiveness, "I'm so sorry Tobias, but I had to let her go."

I left Dauntless headquarters and ran towards the train line, my only means of making it to Erudite Headquarters. I don't know what made me think I could do this. But all I knew was the one truth that I couldn't get out of my head. Tobias gave up the most important thing in his life once, to save my own.

I've spent the last month or so trying to figure out what I could possibly give him in return. I had nothing for him, he was too good for me. He was too perfect… So when I finally realised what I had to do, going there wasn't a hard decision.

You see, the way to pay him back had been staring me in the face for so long now I just hadn't realised…  
_A life for a life._  
It was as simple as that.

I peeled back the top of the envelope and took the folded letter out as Christina watched me from her bed. I knew it was Tris the second I saw the envelope. I knew her writing back and front just like I knew everything else about her that way.

_Tobias,_

_There isn't much time, and I know that as well as anybody. These last few weeks have meant the world to me, I mean, it was the time you finally came back to me. Life was making sense again. But I also knew that from now on I would be the one to make the sacrifices to save the other. Not you._

_I couldn't tell you where I was going; I knew you'd stop me. And it hurts when I realise I won't get to really say goodbye. Please don't be mad at me for doing what I am going to. It's love that has gotten me to this point and it's love that will keep me going._

_Forever and always,  
Tris._

I could hear a train approaching and I jumped on, although I felt a rush of pain make its way to my shoulder. I wrapped my jacket around me tighter, trying to keep in the warmth. It didn't take long to get to Erudite headquarters so I decided against taking a nap.

When I arrived I jumped off and somehow managed to land on both feet. So I began walking towards the Erudite building where through the big glass doors I could see Jeanine waiting for me, a tight smile on her lips. I knew I had handed to her exactly what she had wanted, but it no longer mattered now.

"Tris!" I turned, upon hearing my name and light footsteps a bit further behind me.

I turned to see Tobias running towards me and I froze, I hadn't wanted him to come. So I said the thing that should have been the easiest to say but hurt the most, "Good bye." As I pushed through the doors into Jeanine's arms to do with me what she will.

Tobias ran and tried to push past the guards but they were too strong. I looked away as I was taken upstairs. I could hear his cries and it hurt. But I knew they wouldn't hurt him, that's the only thing they could promise to get me here.

I can't say I wasn't afraid but I knew I did the right thing. Because I knew if I didn't come Tobias would have and I didn't want anything more from him. He'd already given too much.

**I know a lot of you won't like the ending but I ended it so that to know what happens next you can read the last half or so of Insurgent… haha.**

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